I was devastated. I was mourning the loss of an unborn child but didn’t want Gary to know. He was going through enough and I didn’t want him to feel worse because of me. So I would secretly throw perfectly clean clothes, hit pillows and randomly stop in parking lots to cry, scream and feel sorry for myself. It was my way of dealing (Granted, anyone who drove by me while I was throwing my tantrum most likely thought I was crazy but in a way I was).